I’m currently reading Gregg Thompson’s book entitled “Unleashed.” It is an easy and comprehensive book on how to inspire and influence others and I totally recommend it.
Thompson aptly points out the pitfall managers can fall into around controlling others. Thompson states that controlling others often results from a lack of self-esteem and most often squelches the natural vitality znd creativity of the very people we are attempting to motivate. No bueno.
So how do we know if we are controlling? Thompson says to watch out for three things:
1.We are doing 25% of the talking.
2.The motivatee needs to be sharing their insights mostly; not the other way around.
3.Sentences beginning with “you should” or “you need to” are controlling. We need to engage, not command (catch the irony in this sentence?).
Thompson says we need to get in the backseat and let our mentees drive. Its scary at first but it will birth freedom, enthusiasm, creativity, and growth.